Today, some of my old friends told me that "red" is associated with energy, war, strength, courage, power, determination, desire, and love. They gave me a red "knock-out" rose bush (with roots because they know how much I love to see things grown year to year) to be symbolic of my "war" against "this thing". They put a butterfly garden stake in the rose bush to represent "Life" and "Living". They want me to pick a rose from the plant at the end of each week of treatment. At the end, I'll have 6 roses joining this one that I cut today.
I found out some interesting news when I met with the radiation oncologist today. In asking what strength of radiation that I was receiving, she said that it was medium but that it was not only directed at the tumor itself but at the surrounding lymph nodes as well. They have NOT found any cancer in the lymph nodes, which is one of the qualifications that makes it at stage 1. They are treating the lymph nodes JUST IN CASE. I like that. It comforts me to know that just in case a little cancer cell decided to go visit his next door neighbor "the lymph node" that he'll be Zapped!
As I've mentioned, Butch has asked me to not goggle pancreatic cancer and do internet research about it. I've honored that request. I really don't need to read others sad stories, some turning out good, some turning out bad. I have been given enough factual literature to learn all I need to learn about what I have. So, with that preface, I asked the radiation oncologist today if it was rare for people to discover pancreatic cancer in stage 1. She said that it was! It's usually discovered in later stages.
Again and again I ask myself, how was I so lucky to catch this "thing" at this stage???????
Every time I hear that, I begin to believe a little deeper that I am going to beat this! I begin to let myself believe that I may indeed one day be able to say that I'm cancer free.
And if I can't, then it was a HECK of a fight!
4 comments:
You ARE going to win this fight! I was just talking with someone last week about the stage 1 diagnosis. I really believe most people with pancreatic cancer don't realize it until much later. And, as you're well aware, every single day of fighting counts. I am so so glad that you have some reassurance that you're case has H-O-P-E. You WILL be back at school with all of us again.
I also love the symbolism behind the red rose bush. Guess I'll now be thinking about you every time I wear red, too! ;)
Love you!
Rosemary
Absolutely you will be cancer free. You have so many prayers fighting this "thing" it doesn't have a chance to survive.
I love knock out roses. For years to come you will have beautiful flowers in your garden. :)
Hugs to you,
Marion
Sharon - you will beat this thing. You are in for one scary bumpy ride of a summer, but you will beat this thing. You indeed caught it early and you have great medical care. By the way, how is that glittery pink toe polish holding up? I think it is about time to do them up in knock-out red! ; ) XO Diane
Sharon - This thing doesn't have a chance. We all BELIEVE you will beat this "ugly thing".
Sending you a big RED hug!
Michelle McG
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