Dancing on Rainbows

Butch, Loren and I just got home from my oncology appointment with Dr. Major in Winchester. Here's the information that we've all been waiting for....drum roll please....

• It's stage 1 pancreatic cancer
• He doesn't feel that it's growing at an alarming rate, however pancreatic cancer is not an easy cancer to have.
• I'm scheduled with a radiation doctor for Monday in Winchester. Dr. Major felt that I would start radiation at the end of next week??? but that will be determined by Dr. Stewart. It will be a low dose radiation because they don't want to damage the pancreas for the surgery. More radiation would cause more harm than good.
• At the same time that I start my radiation, I will be given a low dose of ORAL chemo. I will be able to take this chemo by mouth several times a day at home. I will be at home! Catoctin family, does that mean I have to give back my maroon and gold blanket with all the words of hope? I promise to use it at home while taking the chemo pill ... AT HOME!
• He said that Dr. Adams at UVA would not have sat on my bed and talked about the Whipple Surgery if he did not feel that it was a VIABLE option. He would not plan the surgery for the beginning of August if the mass was intertwined in the blood vessels. I remember explicitly Dr. Adams saying the mass was adjacent to the blood vessels.
• I told Dr. Major about the strange sensation that I've been having in my head. When I move my eyes from side to side, I feel very light headed and "hear" a sound as if it's a spinning ceiling fan. With those symptoms, I will be having a brain MRI next Thursday at 7:30 am. to rule out brain cancer. Don't be alarmed. He's ruling it out. He said that if it is brain cancer, he doesn't want me to have to go through all of this for no reason. Perhaps a few more changes need to be made in our prayers to God. Shrinking is still a strong request, but letting this not be in my brain is a biggie too. Dr. Major said he doesn't think that is what it is. He thinks that it could be because I have only gotten 4 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period, with the maximum time that I am sleeping about a hour or hour and a half. He's ruling it out! I consider that a gift that he is giving me. He's doing a conclusive test to be able to put it totally out of my mind. If it is, which it's not, then we'll deal with that then....but it's not. He really doesn't think it is.
• Dr. Major seems to think that the increased pain and spasms that I have in my gut are from having the stents in there. Makes sense to me....makes a lot of sense!
• He said that the surgery in August is a major one...not easy. He is confident that I am having it done by one of the best. You know, it could be that I would have to fly somewhere to have this surgery done. But I don't. The surgeon that is going to do it has already sat on my hospital bed, touched my hand and wrote his name and phone number on a napkin. I'm in excellent hands and only have to drive 90 minutes to get there! I put the napkin in a safe place so that I didn't accidentally use it as a tissue.
• Dr. Major prescribed a sleeping medicine to help me get some quality sleep. I feel like my eyes are sunk into the back of my head (really hard to put eye shadow on, let alone eye liner). 
•  Dr. Major said that he thought I looked familiar when I made the connection with my mom 13 years ago. We left him today as he patted my back and touched Butch's shoulder saying, "See you my friend." We are so lucky!

So with that being the facts my dear friends and family, I am off to sleep. Our sweet girl Loren was a blessing to Butch and I today. She and I actually skipped out to the car.....held hands and skipped! We didn't shed one tear because they weren't needed. Butch said that he thought this was going to be the worst day of his life. It wasn't. We were given hope. I feel like we are dancing on rainbows.

 I actually contemplated while waiting for appointments to be made how I could get the radiation once a day on my way home from school. My darling husband obviously didn't even entertain the idea, but I could make it work if I wanted to. Well, I could. Today gave us hope that I WILL be back in my room at Catoctin, walking the halls with my Catoctin family again, and doing progress reports and IEP's , all the time with a smile on my face.

We are dancing from one color of the rainbow to the next. It feels so good to have hope again!