Oh where oh where do I begin to fill in what has been going on in my little world? I tend to not blog when things aren't going well because I hate to sound negative in my messages. It's also because I don't have the energy to sit at the computer.
To put this last week in a nutshell...It has been filled with a lot of pain. My incision hurts. My back hurts. You would think that after 8 weeks since surgery, things would be feeling better. They definitely aren't. Over the last month I was able to reduce the amount of pain medicine that I had been taking. Because the pain has intensified, I have had to go back up to the dose that I left the hospital taking. I only started doing that last night. I have been holding out, increasing the break through pain medicine by 5 mg. here and there to help. I came to the realization that it just wasn't working. I am still in too much pain.
When I visited the surgeon several weeks ago, he reminded me that I was to take the pain medicine to relieve the pain. That my concern of becoming addicted to the medicine shouldn't be a focus now. The pain medicine was there to relieve the pain. The pain guides my day, making it so hard to do anything because of the level of discomfort. It also guides my emotions. I feel so discouraged because of not feeling well.
Last night, for my 12:00 am dose, I increased it to what I left the hospital taking. I had a better night sleep. I woke up able to do small projects this morning already. I'm still hurting....but NOT to the degree that I was. I will continue to follow this path for a little while, hoping to enjoy a few days of feeling better.
Tomorrow I go to the oncologist for lab work and to schedule chemo, which makes me think that next week will be the beginning of my 6 months of treatment. I'll go one day a week for an hour treatment for 3 weeks in a row. I'll have a week off before beginning the cycle for the next month over again.
Today I met another major milestone. When the nurse was here for my wound care, we were able to go from a wet and dry gauze to just a dry one now. I no longer need to "pack" the wound. The nurse said by next week, the wound should be completely healed over. WOW, it's been a long time coming but is finally here! They've reduced their visits to one time a week and project that I'll be discharged from their care in 2 weeks.
Here's hoping for a few days filled with a little more energy, happiness, and piddling before chemo begins and fatigue/fever set in.
5 comments:
Sharon,
Pain meds are there to releave pain, you are in pain, you should take what you need so you can rest. You will need to store up as much energy as you can for the weeks ahead. I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Keep your head up and know there are so many people in your corner praying for you and sending lots of love.
Michelle❤
Sharon,
I think if you imagined yourself giving advice to one of your students' parents about their young one's struggles, I think you'd have a lot more empathy for yourself. You KNOW that aids (the visual type for our students, the medication type for adults in pain) are put in place to bridge the gap to independence. Use your tools! The medicine helps - it helps you feel stronger and get more sleep. And... both of those things help you feel better emotionally. Trust the doctors - they prescribed the medication. And, rejoice in the victories! Your wound is healing! Maybe not as fast as you would like (but, once again, I can relate that to a not so little boy who's just not learning to say his "r"s as quickly as his mother would like. I know you tell her to "trust her gut"). You know you need the medicine - trust YOUR gut and enjoy your victories! Every single victory is a reason to celebrate!
Sending lots and lots of love,
Rosemary
Dear Sharon,
Please let those pain meds fight the pain. Resting, healing & knowing that you're loved; that's your chief assignment. You extend grace so freely to others... Please allow yourself that same grace. This is only for a season. We are cheering you on, Sharon. You are covered in prayer.
Missing your smiling face,
Darla
Sharon,
May God's grace bring you through this time of pain. I am praying for some relief for you. I know it will come soon! I think of you so often throughout our day. You are so very missed. All our prayers are sent your way!
Hi Sharon,
I was thinking about you this week and just now was able to take time to check you out. You are so awesome. Please know, everyone I meet who knows you, have so many prayers for you. Well, usually when I say I am ( was) from Catoctin, people ask about you right away. You have so many friends. I just wanted you to know that you have more prayers than you can imagine. Stay strong and know you are loved by so many friends.
Post a Comment