You would think that this journey I'm on is enough to deal with at one time. But for some unknown, yet I'd like to think calculated reason, the severe pain that I have in my right hip/leg is the focus of my daily struggles.
I went for the second injection on Thursday, so excited that this would make such a difference in my life. Historically in the past trips to the pain clinic, the 2nd injection takes my pain away permanently...or at least until I injure it again causing the spinal stenosis to become quite inflamed. As the pain clinic doctor put the needle into my spine, he did something he never has done in the past. He walked the needle up my spine after inserting it. After the injection, my husband confirmed that was exactly what he did as he watched the outline of the inserted needle go up my back.
I really, really hate to complain. In fact, as our Va Beach British golf partner would say, I'm so "bloody" tired of complaining. So I will just state the facts. This "bloody" 2nd injection has not given me a moment of relief. I'm still at a pain level of 8. I have had to resort to taking the pain medicine Dilaudid to help me make it through the nights. Even that doesn't take the pain away as you think it would. I don't WANT to take pain medicine. Imagine having a severe charley horse in you hip, with the pain running all the way down to your foot. You try to move your leg around to find that right spot to make the cramp go away. Yes, tears are streaming down your face as you move your hip around to find that comfort spot....but that relief doesn't come for quite some time. Now imagine at other times, when you don't have the severe charley horse feeling, that a battery charger is hooked up to your leg delivering constant electrical current down to your foot. Nerve pain is not easy...just not easy.
I must say...it's hard to concentrate on this "bloody" cancer journey because of my "bloody" hip/leg pain. Is that the reason this has happened???? I just don't know what to do. I can only get 3 injections. The next one is scheduled in 2 more weeks. The wedding is in 3 weeks. Major surgery will be after that. I just don't know what to do??? I am really, really tired of complaining!
On a happier note, my husband and I went on a date night Thursday evening. We went to see the 3D movie of The Amazing Spiderman. It was FANTASTIC! We had the best time! I must have said at least 50 times after the movie was over, "That was the best movie!" Finding the time to make memories is what life is all about.
1 comment:
Hi Sharon:
Just breaks my heart to hear that you are having to go through such extreme pain and discomfort, especially after everything else you have been through the last several months. And then to add this awful heat on top of not feeling well. Enough is enough for one person! If I could somehow bear some of the pain you are experiencing to help relieve your burden, I would do it with a smile on my face, for there's nothing I would rather see than you enjoying life's simple pleasures, painfree and without a care in the world, and making beautiful memories that you'll look back on for many years to come. Perhaps this nerve pain is "conditioning" you for surgery -perhaps the pain of recovering from the surgery will pale in comparison to the pain that you are experiencing now.
And hey, it is O-K-A-Y to complain as much as you need to - I personally don't mind, and am just so thankful to know how you are doing on a nearly daily basis - besides, if we know what is bothering you or going through your mind, we can pray specifically for those things.
I'm thinking of and praying for you and your friend Rita, and praying for pain-free, care-free days for both of you!
Lots of love and hugs,
Kelli
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