One More for the Books

I have a new page to record in my book of life. I can honestly say that the last day has been one of the toughest of my entire life.

But I'm going to cut quickly to the present time. About 2:30 this afternoon, the pain clinic called and said that the new prescriptions were ready. My husband immediately went to pick them up and take to the pharmacy. Relief was on it's way.

Here's what my new life consists of: 
~ Twice a day, I will take 20 mg of Oxycontin.
~ EVERY 4 hours, no matter what time it is, I will take 5 mg of Oxycodone for breakthrough pain.

Here's what this translates into after taking just one pill of each:
~  I am able to walk, sit, lay and move without being in pain!!!!

But in reality, this is what is really happening:
~  I'm in a drugged induced state of mind. The prescriptions are altering the way my brain is receiving the pain.  I walk as if my right leg isn't really attached to my body. All pain medicine makes me extremely itchy but that's what fingernails are for!

The bottom line is that for the first time in a long time, I feel that I can make it through the day. I can look forward to what the next hour may bring. I don't want to stay on heavy medication for any longer than I have to...but it appears that this is my absolute last option at this specific time. Late this afternoon, I was able to iron all of the tablecloths for the rehearsal dinner. I was able to take a shower without gripping the wall tiles crying out in pain.

Along with the prescriptions, an order for another MRI was included. I will call UVA on Monday so that they can arrange to get a picture of my spine along with the pancreas when I go on the 23rd.

I have the alarm set on my cell phone for every 4 hours. If this has to be my "new normal" for a little while, then I'll take it. This evening, for the first time in days, I was able to visualize myself being able to be physically present at my son's wedding! Thank you to EVERYONE for all your thoughts and prayers helping me make it to this moment in time. Thank you.....from the bottom of my heart!