I've been trying to keep my mind occupied this morning. I'm not worried about having the actual MRI this evening... but am EXTREMELY anxious about what the results will be. What pictures will the camera actually capture? What are the effects of 6 weeks of chemotherapy and radiation? What prayers did God answer?
I don't like wishing my life away...each day is precious in itself. But if I could be Bewitch (my favorite TV show when I was young), I would wiggle my nose, letting it be 8:00 tomorrow morning, magically "popping" into Dr. Adams office ready to hear ALL he has to tell us.
In preparing questions for tomorrow's office visit, I did some research on the Whipple surgery. I wanted to have some background knowledge to understand the procedure. I know exactly why my husband didn't want me to "google"
pancreatic cancer on the internet. Reading the different statistic is
very, very upsetting. I'm NOT going to write those statistic here. I don't want my fingers to type the numbers and the odds for survival, even after surgery. I want those numbers to disappear from my brain.
I HAVE to remember that I can beat any statistic out there. I have to remember to take each day as it comes, making sure that I make the most of each moment. I have to remember to trust and find peace within my heart. I have to remember that all things are possible.
A dear friend of mine gave me the book God's Promises from A to Z. I read it often, loving the messages that are written as poetry. I read this passage often...
Do You Believe?
When the way seems long and the day is dark
And we can't hear the song of the thrush or the lark,
And our hearts are heavy with worry and care,
And we are lost in the depths of despair,
That is the time when faith alone
Can lead us out of the dark unknown.
For faith to believe when the way is rough
And faith to hang on when the going is tough
Will never fail to pull us through
And bring us strength and comfort too.
For all we really ever need
Is faith as a grain of mustard seed,
For all God asks is do you believe--
For if you do you shall receive.
1 comment:
Sharon -
Stand up. Stretch both of your arms out in front of you. Now place your left hand on your right shoulder. While leaving your left hand there, place your right hand on your left shoulder. Now squeeze, really, really hard, and consider yourself hugged! I wish it could have been an in-person hug, but the sentiment remains the same.
I know the next day or two, and the seemingly endless periods of waiting, will be extremely challenging. Just remember that you have lots of friends and family members sending up daily "knee-mails" on your behalf. Thankfully, God's knee-mail "in-box" never gets full, because I know He is being bombarded with requests of healing for you. He holds you and your family in the palm of His hand, and in today's world, that's an awesome place to be. Keeping you and your family close at heart!
Kelli
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