Blog Titles

I have enjoyed picking the blog titles for my posts. This one will have MANY titles:

*So How Does It Taste?
*What Else Do You Do Besides Sleep?
*Social Security
*Oh Thank You, Thank You  So Much!
*The Count Down is ON!

So how does it taste? I'm not sure. A lovely new side effect has developed. My feet and lips feel numb and my sense of taste has diminished. I know these are short lived now that I'm off chemo. It's all part of the process and I'm fine with that.

What else do you do besides sleep? Not much. I try not to go back to bed after I'm up so instead, I've made the couch my "place to pretend to read". I don't even have the energy to read. My eyelids take over and I sleep soundly for a couple of hours. Then I wake up, eat because I'm famished and that's what causes the nausea, then fall back to sleep. My body is telling me to rest and that's what I'm doing.

Social Security...this could be a 20 page blog in itself but I'll condense because it's 4:30 in the morning. A couple of weeks ago, I received a letter from my long term disability company. That policy hasn't even kicked into mode yet, however they wanted me to apply for Social Security Disability Income. This has been the root of what has been bothering me and has also been the core of what has made me make decisions such as driving myself to radiation. I am only TEMPORARILY disabled, yet they want me to apply for something that is permanent. I did that for my mom after receiving a letter from her oncologist giving her life span in writing. I keep moving the forms, that they are requiring me to send in, from pile to pile. I didn't want to deal with it. Even though the forms kept moving from place to place, the idea settled in my mind....and it bothered me more than you can imagine. SS disability is a permanent thing. You are telling me that I am going to stay disabled. I don't want to do this...please don't make me. With all of these feelings, I took back control of my life. Last Friday, I got a message from the law group that represented the long term disability company. They were calling to assist me in filling out the SS claim. I decided to pull a Scarlet O'Hara and deal with it on Monday. First thing this morning, I called and had to leave a message. The phone tag game was on. Long story short, I spoke with the lawyer this afternoon. After explaining to her that I don't even work during the summer; long term hasn't even kicked in, yet they were trying to reduce their responsibility already; I don't plan on being out of work for any longer than I have to be; this is stage 1 and not a death sentence; and did I mention that I plan on going back to work as soon as I can? The lawyer said that the two reasons to apply for SSDI is if you have been out of work for 1 year already or if you expect to be kept out of work for 1 year. Neither of these apply to me. The lawyer really listened to me and heard me. She agreed that this claim was a bit premature. I promised her that should I not get the results from surgery that are expected, I will contact her for her assistance in this next step. End of phone call and very, very deep sigh from inside my heart.

Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I was finally able to get the lumbar x-ray this evening for my sciatica. The pain is constant and quite severe. I finished the round of steroids without many results. I know that this will not go away without an injection from the pain clinic into my spine. I've been down this path several times already and after 3 weeks, with the pain still a level 6-7, I know that it will not resolve itself without the next step. I have spinal stenosis and the inflammation is pressing on nerves causing constant pain from my hip down my leg to my foot. Yes, this is from moving the furniture on my screened in porch. Yes, this is the result of thinking that I can still do these things. Yes, this pain is all because I was stupid.  I hope to hear from the pain clinic within the next day or two and then go in for a consult, followed by the injection. It's going to be so wonderful not being in pain. My life will be so happy!!!

The count down is on. I have  T, W, Th, F, M left for radiation treatments. Help me count...1, 2, 3, 4, 5 more treatments. In a little over 6 hours, I will be able to say that I have 4 more treatments! I'm so excited.